hm. my parents, in regards in everything they give me.

I would say family but losing 6 family members in the past 4 years kinda helps make you realize how precious they are and how quickly they can be ripped away from you with no warning.




   

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I drove around for a bit today kinda thinking about everything... and I feel so old.
I really do. I literally crave to go back to high school and do it all over again. Well ok maybe not all of it, I don't think I could handle it all again but there are a few things I would have changed....
listened to my parents! ha! Who would have thought! And I will never tell them! haha..

-- I would have walked away from a friendship that was literally pulling me in the wrong direction. At times she was a great friend, the best. But then I look at the bad things and they really outweighed the good. Sad.
-- I would have gotten out of a relationship that has left the deepest scar on me you could imagine. I get physically ill thinking about it. why? who does that? why me? the questions go on. and then even years and years later I have to think about something else before it gets to me. again. the ONE thing I would take back and the one time I wished I would have listened to my parents! [shockingly, they do know better especially with people]
-- gotten more involved in high school and even a bit in college
-- Broken a few more rules my parents made, you live once and man did my mom keep me caged up! Nothing terrible but I should have pushed the limits a bit more
-- Not given up jr. year of soccer, but quit senior year. waste of time, tears, and energy to try and change a coach who was perminatley stuck in high school trying to be accepted by teens

I think its really starting to get to me because I know I'm not going back to school. I want to go back now, so so bad. I miss living on my own, though its nice not worrying about bills and food all the time. then tests and papers. still...
I wish i would have stayed another semester. I wasn't ready to leave. I sound so dramatic.. haha. Hard going from an apartment that I helped decorate, make up my own room, rules, food, hours, etc... to my junior high room that my mom continues to impose her little things in, limited freedom.... I do get to do pretty much whatever I want BUT I miss walking everywhere I needed or wanted to go and not worrying about driving after the bars. I can't just run off to the coffee shop when someone is driving me nuts and chill out. Because I have no car and more than likely I'll run into someone from high school and have that painful fake conversation. yuck.

I am working 2 jobs and I feel like its already ruining my ideal summer. I had to work all of 4th of July weekend. now I know he wants the more experienced waiters there but come on! The new kids are suppose to get the shit shifts! That really rubbed me the wrong way. But I gotta cut the 'tude and realize that its not everything and I don;t want to look back on THIS and regret not doing MORE just because of a few bad weekends....

We're headed off to Iowa next week... should be... interesting. The boys could give a shit that we literally have to re-arrange everything to get there plus costs. And they have the nerve to be mad that we can't make it when it fits their schedule. uhh... I have 2 jobs and a social life and family at home. Thanx. It's almost as if they think its just me and di still waiting to play with them? who knows. its insulting it really is. especially how we were treated over the year. whatever. Why waste time on someone who wouldn't give u a second thought?
which was proved when no phone call was made when they came through the city until it was way to late. yes boys, 2 hours before is not enough time to drop work and friends! oy.

what a ramble. time for bed. then wake up for my 9-5. yuck. where did the time go?

Honestly, as mad as I can get at my parents I love them to death and wouldn't want anything else.
They have taught me well and I am happy with the person I have become.
I'm not spoiled, I know the vaule of a dollar because they had me pay for my housing while at school. So I know what it is to work for money, and save properly.
I am respectful of adults (well my elders now since I'm an adult now...ugh) I am still unfomfortable calling people years older than me by their first names.
I'm greatful for everything I have. I have no loans thanks to my parents.
Just a few examples. Especially today, kids get anything and everything they want, they are so spoiled and disrespectful it amazes ME and I just graduated college! (I'm not saying all but a lot) Parents give in so easily now for whatever reason. Parents don't even know who their kids are now. I HATED my mom for getting in my business but now, I see she was just trying to make sure I didn't fall into the holes to make me a bad person and get caught with the wrong people.
My own boss doesn't see what his son is becoming and hes a good man.

Now I'm rambling...

But in fun I would obviously choose someone famous with morals... but who are they?
The new Angelina Jolie? Julia Roberts? I'm unsure who has good morals in todays world and gives back to society. But if I HAD to choose besides my parents it would be someone in that light.

   

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